| Perc |
Anyone
about? I say, anyone about? ----- oooh! He has caught sight
of a large pair of round eyes glinting in the shadows. Nothing
else can be seen. Y-y-you aren't a g-ghost are you? |
| Theo |
No, of course I'm not. State your business. I have to tell you
that you do not give a very favourable impression at the moment.
|
| Perc |
Ah
well sir, that's the story of my life. One of life's losers, that's
what I am. |
| Theo |
Yes,
I can well believe that. Theodosius comes out of the shadows.
Percival is visibly impressed. Now what is it you want to
say? |
| Perc |
First sir, would I be right in thinking that you are Theodosius,
the celebrated legal bird brain? |
| Theo |
To a certain extent, yes. |
| Perc |
Ah, then I have a message for you. You should know that I live
in one of the smaller courtyards of the royal palace. It's situated
just near the kitchen as a matter of fact and there I eke out
a miserable ----- |
| Theo |
Never mind about all that. Please just keep to the point, otherwise
we'll be here all night. |
| Perc
|
O
all right. I only wanted to put you in the picture. Let me at
least introduce myself. |
| Theo |
If you must. |
| Perc |
My name is Percival. |
| Theo |
That seems a very unlikely sort of name for a pigeon - especially
for a pigeon of your description. |
| Perc |
Now that, if I may say so sir, shows just how perceptive you are.
It is a very unlikely name for a pigeon of my description. But
when it came to names, my mother, bless her soul, was something
of a ----- |
| Theo |
The message Percival, if you would be so good. |
| Perc |
Well sir, it so happened that this morning, as is my usual practice,
I was wandering through the courtyard when suddenly I was grabbed
from behind. I don't mind telling you that it gave me a very nasty
turn, a very nasty turn indeed. As you might well imagine. |
| Theo |
Yes, do get on with it. |
| Perc
|
And
what made matters worse was that it was very soon clear to me
that I had been grabbed by a cat. Not that I could see the cat,
because I was immediately dragged into a dark cellar, but I could
feel those claws digging into my feathers. Do you know, I can
still feel them now. |
Theo
|
This pigeon can't control his beak.
At this rate we'll be here all week. |
| Theo |
I dare say you can. Do not forget that cats are not the only creatures
with sharp claws. |
| Perc |
No indeed sir! So this cat starts to speak to me. And as she speaks
it was clear to me that she did not come from these parts. She
had a strange foreign accent. Of course, being only an ignorant
bird, sir, I can't be sure where she came from, but if I were
to hazard a guess ----- |
Theo
|
Will nothing stem his flow of words!
How I detest long-winded birds. |
| Theo |
Don't. I realise that you find it difficult to keep to the point,
but I really would appreciate it if you tried. |
| Perc |
Forgive me sir. I suppose I do wander off ------ So this cat says
to me, "Do you know the old church tower on the other side of
town?' 'Know it,' I replied, 'I should say I do. Why ---' Well
sir, she interrupted me there, just as you would have done ---
and said, 'Then listen to me, mon ami.' ---That was just as she
said it sir -- 'you will go there this evening just as the sun
is setting. You will give this message to Monsieur Theodosius
who lives there in the top of the tower. Could he come to the
palace toute de suite as I have need of his services most urgently.
Tell him that it is most important.' And that's it sir. --- She
said nothing else, other than to suggest that if I did not remember
to come here, it would be the worse for me. Well here I am sir,
as you see. |
Theo
|
You wander off! I wish he would!
I'd send him packing if I could.
But who knows what he has to say.
Reluctantly I'll let him stay.
A miracle! He's reached the end.
But was there noone else to send?
O yes I see. And I have heard
Each drawn out phrase and extra word! |
| Perc
|
And
I would take it most kindly, sir, if you were to tell the cat
when you meet her that I came. |
| Theo |
Surely, that will hardly be necessary. |
| Perc |
No sir, but it's a sensible precaution. |
| Theo
|
Unless
there is anything else you wish to add --- No! That is a mistake.
Thank you, you may go. |
| Perc |
Oh, I was rather hoping you would explain what all this was about.
|
| Theo
|
Even
if I knew, I would never betray the confidence of a client. I
should now be greatly obliged if you would leave --- |
| Perc |
If you're sure there's nothing else? |
| Theo |
---at once.
With a last forlorn look at Theodosius, Percival shuffles over
to the window. As he leaves, he manages to knock off the 'Theodosius,
Tawny-at-law' sign and get entangled in some ivy. Theodosius sighs
and then, when he is sure that Percival has flown off, follows
him out into the last moments of a fiery red sunset. |
